Student Intern Reflections on our New College Program

When The Meeting House College Program started a few months ago, I expected to have more of a mentorship role considering that I am a rising senior at Brandeis University. I felt like I had a lot to offer to students who were still at the beginning of their college careers.

In our first session of the program, we discussed our expectations of what we thought college was going to be like when we were in high school vs. what the realities ended up looking like. After that first session and reflecting on how the entire cultural landscape of college life has drastically changed since the start of the pandemic, I found myself taking more of a passenger seat and doing much more active listening and significantly less talking than I had anticipated.

It is no secret that college comes with periods of challenge and ideally strides of personal and academic growth. However, when two of the core components of the typical college experience are practically non-existent—socializing with new people from all different backgrounds and submerging yourself into a new academic environment built on collaboration—it became essential for us to create a new understanding of what it means to be a college student in 2021.

As we approach our final in person session for the summer this week before our transition into a virtual program, and with respect to the integrity of the group and privacy of my peers, I have listed four valuable takeaways from our past few months of working together:

1. Finding immediate best friends is a rarity.
   In our discussion about expectations of college vs. reality, we talked about how we expected to make tons of long lasting friendships right away. With social isolation and remote learning, this made things exponentially more difficult. As we look forward to returning to school in person this year, we discussed strategies to put ourselves in more social situations that are within the boundaries of what makes us comfortable. Overall, we agreed that joining clubs, saying “yes” to having a meal with someone new even if we are tired or it makes us anxious, and reminding ourselves that quality over quantity takes patience are all important places to start.
   

2. There is no set-in-stone adjustment period to living on your own and learning to live with new people.
   Roommates and dorm life take time to get used to, and everyone gets adjusted at different paces. Establishing boundaries, discussing schedules, and being aware that you and your roommate may not see eye-to-eye can help make dorm life more comfortable. We also noted that other people’s experiences should not be compared to our own. With the amount of social media consumption college students partake in, and the understanding that not everything we see online is authentic, it is beneficial to focus on ourselves by exercising patience and maintaining realistic expectations.
   

3. Being a college aged student is a strange period of being an adult while also still listening to our parents.
   Surprisingly, our parents do sometimes provide us with sage advice. However, having to navigate code switching between being at college and being at home is a learning curve for both parents and students. Creating an open dialogue about how college is a place for growth and learning from our mistakes, and also acknowledging that it is a difficult transition for parents to have their children not be under their watch 24/7 after 18 years can foster a healthy balance.
   

4. Mistakes and feedback are vital to personal growth.
   College is not a place to be perfect. It is inevitable that we will try new things, learn about ourselves, mess up, and learn from our mistakes. One piece of advice I received early on in my college experience from a professor is to remember that asking for help when you are struggling shows maturity and self awareness rather than inability or weakness. Luckily, there are lots of academic and personal resources to provide guidance and support at almost all colleges. For parents and students- looking online at what resources your child’s school provides can help you feel more secure and part of a community.

In summary, one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from my experience with the college program is that no matter your age or background, everyone has the capacity to learn and teach new skills and ways of thinking. As I return to college and carry on with participating in the college program remotely, I am excited to continue my practice of active listening, displaying empathy, and building connections.

By Lauren Silverschotz
Brandeis Class of 2022