Four things “Love on the Spectrum” taught me about love, life & human connection

Finding love can be difficult for anyone. For young adults on the autism spectrum, exploring the unpredictable world of dating holds its own unique challenges. Yet, despite what some may believe, people on the autism spectrum are interested in and able to form authentic romantic relationships. Netflix Love on the Spectrum illustrates the complexities of dating on the spectrum but also celebrates and sheds light on the beauty and innocence of authentic love and connection.

Leading with transparency
Lacking a filter and self-awareness and self regulation can be looked at as catalysts for direct and clear communication. Individuals on the autistic spectrum sometimes have trouble using a filter when it comes to conversation skills. At the Meeting House, we often ask if something is worth sharing with the group or should that stay in your “thought bubble.” On one hand this lack of self-awareness and self regulation can create conflict and serve as a barrier in the beginning stages of a relationship. Yet, from a different perspective the honesty and transparency the characters display is also refreshing and authentic. Even though it can be difficult for some of the contestants to articulate their emotions, they choose to lead with vulnerability and courage by sharing how they are feeling in the moment.

The importance of stating your needs
Stating and advocating for your needs when it comes to dating is not selfish. In fact, establishing boundaries and displaying assertiveness lets the potential partner know what you are looking for. Several characters on the show can be seen clearly articulating their needs in a relationship. Of course, it may not be best practice to state all of your deal breakers on the first date but being your own advocate is something we can all learn from.

Play and Finding Your inner Child
Allowing yourself to engage your inner child and engage in play stimulates parts of the brain that send those good feeling chemicals throughout our body. When we are at play, we are present and less self conscious. Yes, it is possible and potentially unhelpful to become too self-aware. Play is often recognized for its contribution to physical health and emotional well-being. It also enhances empathy and leads to the development of social skills.

Noticing and Appreciating the Miraculously Mundane
In a previous blog we discussed the importance of appreciating those small moments and what it can do for the body and mind. We described these moments as miraculously mundane, seemingly ordinary but when fully examined can spark wonder and joy. People on the spectrum are able to integrate their senses to discover the world in unique and seemingly strange and unorthodox ways. The sense of exhilaration and wonder that can be felt on a hillside on a windy day is an experience that is wonderful to share and may be a memory which stays with a person forever.